Searching for a Purpose

It's an unsteady journey through places unknown...

“It’s an unsteady journey through places unknown…”

It seems that we only understand things as we come to the end of them. In a book or story, the plot only seems to come together at the end. In relationships, we only realize why it didn’t work once they’re over. And even with work, sometimes you don’t even realize what direction a project is headed in until your closer to its completion. It seems that the oldadage of “Hindsight is 20/20” proves true. Clarity and understanding come with time and patience.

I’ve been quarreling with myself lately over what it is I’m meant to do. What my purpose for this life is, what role I’m meant to play. I want to make myself proud but I also want to make God proud. I want to be doing the work and living the life he has determined for me. I worry that I might not be living up to all these expectations. What if I’m wasting my time not fulfilling my “purpose”?

Then it hit me. How can we be expected to fulfill our purpose if we’re not likely to realize it until the end? I imagine that once one reaches the end of their life, things become clear. Why decisions were made, why certain obsticals appeared and how they helped us grow, why we did not get what we that we so desperately wanted. Toward the end, their is understanding of your life’s purpose.

We are taught to work towards goals our whole lives. That’s what keeps us going. The hope that our hard work and effort will lead to what we want. But each attained goal leads to a new goal, leading to new hope. So it seems ludicrous to create ONE goal/purpose to your life. What happens when you reach your goal. What is the purpose of the rest of your life? The woman who dreams her purpose in life is to get married and have children; what happens when those children are grown and gone. Is her life over at that moment  because she has fulfilled her purpose in life?

No, I’ve decided to give up my search for my purpose in this life. I’m believing that the more I concentrate on living my life, knowing I have everything I need with me always, and enjoying each chapter of my life, that my purpose will reveal itself to me in the end, and it will be worth the wait.

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